Doctor Botox

“Same day vaccinations” it said on the internet.  The clinic was in a big Victorian terrace on a main road near Leicester city centre.   I had to negotiate an entry phone and was then let into to a very smart suite of offices with soft carpets, swirling feature wallpaper and chandeliers.  The attractive young asian PA told me to fix myself a coffee and the Doctor would see me shortly.  Sure enough I was shown into the surgery a few minutes later, coffee in hand.  Behind an imposing desk lounged a young asian guy with slick black hair, an expensive shirt and a very personable manner.

Talking through the options for vaccination he made me feel relaxed, despite the subject matter.  “Yes, I’d definitely get a rabies vaccination.  Trouble is there is not much of the post infection vaccine available these days and without you are dead, no question.”   Actually we couldn’t do that one as it needs a jab a week for three weeks.  But I settled for two jabs which should protect me from four or five miscellaneous diseases.  We retired to a consulting room where I laid on the couch, listened to soft music and didn’t feel a thing.

I found myself smiling as I paid out £121 for the jabs and received a crisply printed invoice and record card.  The card had my name written in a section called “the nitty gritty”.

“Actually, I spend most of my time giving middle-aged women botox jabs.”  He said as I was getting ready to leave.  “It’s great, I spend all day injecting grateful women and chatting.”

“Well someone’s got to do it.”  I said, as I shook his hand and smiled.