Doug the celebrant

It's been a hectic couple of weeks.  Funerals work is now starting to come in and the weekend before last I did a course on baby naming.

I've done three funerals in the last two weeks and have another one booked for next week, including my dad that means I've done six so far.  It's hard and stressful work, but also very rewarding and I've had wonderful feedback so far.  There are some frustrations however.  My fellow celebrants are a very mixed bunch, some are really great and some are in it because they like the sound of their own voice and/or to allow their prejudices to have a free rein.

I am definitely a humanist, but I'm becoming clearer and clearer that I don't especially want to conduct "humanist" funerals, I would rather conduct a funeral as a humanist, which for me is quite a different thing.  Lots of my colleagues have a hatred, even a fear, of any religious references within a service, thus creating a kind of "humanist space", which to me is like a humanist church.  But to my mind humanism doesn't need to mimic churches in this way and doesn't need its own space.  I really don't mind if people want to say a prayer or sing a hymn within a service I'm conducting.  My concern is fundamentally to help people express their grief in a group setting, where they can feel safe and supported.  I don't want to associate myself with the act of worshipping or praying, but that doesn't require me to stop others from doing so.

I've now worked with three funeral directors (or FDs as they are known in the trade).  I don't like the way the industry works, because I think undue pressure is placed on people to buy things they don't want, but nonetheless two of the three have been good to work with - small and traditional firms but with high standards of conduct.  Then today I came into contact with a medium sized outfit and was struck by the lack of respect the FD had for the mourners.  It's hard to pin down as he did nothing obviously disrespectful.  Also today an old, fat, stupid and patronising Chapel Attendant played the wrong music at the start of the service, causing a delay while the FD rushed backstage and told him. God I hate crematoria!