Early Man Discovers the Smartphone

I've been meaning to buy a smartphone for years and finally got myself a second hand iphone on e-bay when I was in the UK a few weeks ago.  Apart from anything else I was curious to see why so many owners seem to find them more interesting than real life.  I'm proud of the fact that it's second hand, it makes me feel less of a victim of consumerism knowing I picked it up at about a third of the price of a new one and without having to enter into a hire purchase agreement thinly disguised as a mobile 'phone contract.

Four weeks later I'm attached to it like a baby to its mother's teet.  I use it for my shopping lists and I'm downloading an app a day to regulate my diet, provide me with a fitness programme and all manner of other useful things that I had no idea I couldn't do without.  I even take it running so it can tell me where I've been and how many calories I burned.  At night I go to bed with it playing me to sleep with BBC Radio 4.

Now I own one I suppose I finally understand the draw of the smartphone - it's the best handtool since man discovered the flint.  Endless diversion, analysis and connectedness in a slim package which sits easily in your hand and slides into your pocket.  I've no doubt that someone will soon market an app which will allow you to light a fire with the fucking thing.

Trouble is, now I've joined the billions of two-legged mammals who've voluntarily submitted to being tagged with one of these devices spewing out data on our location, speed, direction and consumer choices, I'm not at all sure whether I am using it or it is using me.